Updated: Mar 5
I don’t know about you, O best beloved, but I’m fully happy to shove February off downriver, light that bitch up with some flaming arrows and heckn send it (as one of my best nilla buds is super fond of saying).
I actually did force myself out of my troglodyte ’clave long enough to find a few new potential pals, and finally — in a long-overdue move — finally housed up with Cat and Mouse on kinky social media (the other SM). But of course there had to be some shite to even things out.
I had this whole other blog entry I was going to write about what happened to TinderBoi, but ultimately it’s not worth it. Tldr; he reëmerged from the muck long enough to waste my time before ghosting again. Yeesh.
Suffice it to say, this really should’ve been an ent-sized red flag:
Womp womp. If it slithers like a fish and meows like a cat, it probably is, indeed, a catfish (or at the very least a cryptozoologist's literal wet dream).
MOVING ON (because we do not linger on dis shit when there are Kinky Things to be discussed!)...
Idk what exactly is going on in this gif, butt once I found it, I couldn't not post it 😂
This is super duper overdue, but I made my very own impact toy in the early part of February, which is a little bonkers for several reasons.
First, although a flogger was one of the first kink toys I ever purchased, I had a really bad experience with it. This was nearly a decade ago, when I’d been introduced to BDSM through a partner and didn’t really understand about Safety 101 shit like safe words.
And that is one hundred percent a recipe for disaster.
When you’re an outsider or new to kinky play, it can seem like impact toys such as whips, floggers, paddles, etc. are used to essentially wail on the other person, but THAT IS NOT THE CASE AT ALL!
There are different altered states brought about by impact play, which you can read about here, and each toy should be used by the top extremely mindfully.
With floggers, for example, you only want to be striking with the last ⅛” of the tails or falls (aka long floppy bits) to prevent wrapping (think crack-the-whip but on human skin). And you build up slowly, making sure to pay the utmost attention to your submissive or bottom at all times. You are not venting your emotions; if another human being is offering you their trust, you become the guardian of their safety and well-being. Full stop.
I don’t think there were any marks left on my partner as a result of That One Time, but it was emotionally traumatic to the point where I threw the flogger in the trash and didn’t touch one again for about 5 years.
Tbqh, if you’re completely new to floggers I’d recommend buying one from a reputable retailer like Agreeable Agony simply because you don’t want to play with a potentially unsafe toy (sidenote: I’m not shilling for them, I’ve just bought some very nice stuff from them before and personally trust them enough to recommend them to you, o best beloved). Yes, they’re not cheap, but a well-made flogger will last years, so if you’re getting into impact play it’s a worthy investment.
And please, for the love of all things unholy, take a class at a local dungeon to learn how to use it properly!!!
With all of those warnings, I’ll now get into how I actually made mine.
MATERIALS | 3/4" wooden dowel, Gorilla or other hardcore multi-surface glue, big ol' piece of leather, rotary cutter & mat, long cable ties, pointy knife, chalk pencils or marking stuff that can be wiped off, wide paper tape, yardstick, counterweight (TBD depending on the weight of the mostly-constructed flogger)
OPTIONAL | Accent fabric (I used marine vinyl because I didn't have another leather that matched, leather spots (shiny metal things, which I had) w/ Dremel (which I did not have, more on that later), knee pads, dignity?
One question I'm sure someone's going to ask, Why a rotary cutter, bishh can't I just use scissors? to which I say glhf if you do. It's hard to make smooth cuts in leather without making those jagged edges. A rotary cutter allows for a cleaner cut that's easier on the hand, thus spake ya Fairy Kinkmother ✨
Take your big ol' honkin' piece of leather (I got mine from a kiosk at a local Weird Stuff shop) and tape it to the floor on three sides (didn't do that first, should've, plz learn from my hassle). Obviously it's key to make sure your cutting mat is the length of your falls so you're not cutting the floor), and mark out a big ol' rectangle using your Supreme Mathing Skills!
I knew I wanted 50 falls of 1/2" width each (I recommend 1/2" because that's pretty standard, and easy-ish to cut), so my rectangle was 25 inches by the length of the falls I wanted plus about 3" to secure it to the dowel (18" + 3" = 21 inches).
I heartily recommend using your chalk to mark out every single cut you're going to make in that leather, so draw the 3" border at the top for your dowel margin, and the cut lines for each one of your falls.
Starting at the not-taped-to-the-floor end, start making your cuts, and scooch the mat inward if need be. Take your time with this part, applying even pressure and keeping those falls straight!
Cut off the ragged bit below the ends of the falls, and...
I don't have pics of the next couple of things, but the after pic should make it decently clear.
Flip your big piece of leather over (rough side up) and align the end of your dowel (cut a length that's too long; better too much than too little) with the bottom edge of the 3" border. Working a few inches at a time, apply a thin layer of glue to the leather border and apply even pressure until that border strip is completely wrapped around the dowel.
At this stage the glue will be nowhere close to set, so use some of those cable ties to keep the pressure on.
In the meantime, cut another long rectangle of leather. Trim the end on an angle and do the same glue -> wrap -> cable tie process, but instead of wrapping the leather on top of itself, wrap it diagonally like a ribbon.
A red hair elastic will also work a cable tie, apparently... 👀
When it comes time to remove the cable ties, they probably will have sunk into the fabric, so using your pointy knife, pry the inner clasp of the cable tie open and slip the strap free.
Also, if you wanna apply an accent fabric in a crosshatch pattern, make like the Beast's castle and be our guest!
Start adding additional wraps of leather near the top and bottom of the handle. This is where (if you're DIY-ing it) you have to play it sorta by ear to figure out the right balance before attaching your counterweight.
Once you've got your counterweight (in my case, a chonk of metal we found in the basement (see the misc materials pic for one that was corroded, probably mine's evil twin), glue it to the end of the dowel, and layer glued-down fabric over it in an X).
I purposely left the top of the counterweight straps open because I loved seeing the glint of metal inside, but if you're a sticker for aesthetics literally two more straps would've completely sealed in the counterweight.
If you have a Dremel or other wee drill you can follow instructions to apply leather spots, but since I didn't have one and was in full Hulkcrafter mode, I tried to affix them to a strip of marine vinyl with a hilariously oversized mallet.
Then more glue, cable ties, & tape on top of that...
Once the layer of X's over the counterweight dries, wrap another strip of leather around the base of the X straps (wrapping around the dowel handle).
So here's my finished product (which took about 2 days to make in between drying time and other human stuff).
The final step should be trimming the ends of the falls if they're misaligned for any reason, but despite my inability to think of lining up the heart with the accent bands until it was too late (oops), my falls were pretty good.
I still haven't used this on anyone because I want it to be used on me (I'd rather be on the bad end if anything bad happens), but everyone who's touched it agrees it feels good in the hand.
And judging from the 😍 look in Cat's eyes when she saw it, I've got an eager victim waiting for me to playtest this thing ... mwahahaha!
Thanks for reading!
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