Interview with the DomiNerd, Part I
Full disclosure: I was really looking forward to this one. Interviewing Master about how we met was WAY too awesome of an opportunity to pass up! ;)
So strap in (or on!) for a peek inside the head of one helluva DomiNerd.
Elegy: What was going on in your life just before we met?
Master Moon: I had recently had a little bit of a life-ruining moment: in the same week I had lost my job, my apartment, and my car. And it was my twenty-third birthday, too, so happy birthday to me.
I had to pretty quickly come back from that. [I got] my hands on a new car, moved in with some friends and got a new job. And right after things started to settle a bit, I fell into a really bad depression … and after a little while I started talking to you, and you were really, really cool to talk to, and we liked each other. [So] it kind of worked out perfectly.
Were you looking for a relationship when we met?
I was. At that point I had had a good amount of time man-whoring around, to be completely honest… I was just like, “I’m done with this, I really want to find someone that I am compatible with… I want to meet someone I can spend a lot of time with and be happy with.”
When did you know you were kinky?
As soon as I became sexually active.
And how old was that?
Fifteen, sixteen is when I really started getting interested in sex, and immediately bondage was just the first thing that I was interested in.
What kind of things would you look for?
Kind of standard, classic … power dynamics, restraint, control, domination. All that good stuff.
And was there a specific look that you would go for?
Specifically the kind of models I enjoyed looking at were pictures of ladies who were curvy, BBW a bit, I guess… very pale, and kind of darker hair… [laughs] So pale and thicc.
When did you join FetLife (FL) and why?
I made my profile in 2011 or 2012 or something like that. I was working on a movie in [the city where we met], and… they were doing some pretty graphic sex scenes and stuff like that. I was hanging out with the lead actor and lead actress … and we were all talking about wanting to get into kink and being kinky people, and then he told me about FetLife. And I was like, “I’ve gotta check that out.”
Why did you choose that profile pic?
[laughs] My profile pictures are not really something that I pay a lot of attention to and kind of have neglected. I don’t really care too much what is my profile picture. So it’s really not honestly something I put too much thought into, honestly. I’m kind of lazy when it comes to that.
What were some of your initial interactions on FL like?
I wasn’t really a hundred percent sure what to say, or what I was looking for, or what to expect from other people. It was just kinda awkward. At one point I [started a thread] looking for an LTR [Lifetime Relationship] and I got shut the fuck down by just about everybody who read that.
What were the kinds of things that they would say?
“This isn’t the kind of place where this will happen,” or, “Sorry, bro, you’re out of luck, you’re looking in the wrong place, barking up the wrong tree,” y’know, that kind of thing.
[laughs] Even though that’s one of the options on “Looking For”?
Well, yeah. And everyone [responded], “You’re not gonna meet a date here, you’re not gonna meet anybody here.”
I left a message on a picture of your cat — what made you respond?
The fact that someone was interested enough in my profile to leave a comment on there. I [said to myself], “This is someone who is interested in talking to me, I should find out a little bit more about them and talk to them.” And then I found out a little bit more about you and I was like, “I want to find out a lot more about you.”
So you liked me pretty much right off the bat?
We didn’t really talk about our specific kink tastes really at all at first — was that intentional?
In the beginning I wasn’t really sure exactly how communication in kink was supposed to go, so we did talk a little bit about the kind of stuff that we wanted to do or were interested in — but to be honest, I was so interested in you, what you had to say, and what your life was like and the kind of person you were that the sexy-sexy talk wasn’t really a huge priority.
I told you about my more complicated situation, and you were unfazed. What made you so cool with that?
I’ve always been a fairly open-minded person. I’d lived in places where my roommates … were constantly having sex. Sometimes I would get pulled in to participate, sometimes I would just watch. And then I was living with [other friends] who were very open and not really modest or afraid or anything… So when the whole poly thing came up, [I knew I was] into very unconventional relationships and lifestyles, and this is definitely something that I would be willing to do.
What made you decide to ask me out?
At the time I was still coming down from the whole “film career” thing, and I had a lot of movie ideas… [One in particular was] a cyborg person. So I was asking you some questions about it, I was like, “What do I do for the story?” And then you took the time to write me a pretty lengthy response … [telling me] what would be cool to do or how I could turn that into a narrative.
After you did that, I was really impressed that you knew all that and you took the time. So that’s when [I thought], “This person is really someone that I need to meet and I am very interested in,” so I got the balls to ask you out.
What were you hoping would come out of us meeting (best case scenario)?
We would get along, and like each other a bit, and probably end up sleeping together, because doing that on the first date is absolutely something that I was open to doing. [laughs] But I wasn’t expecting it, I was hoping for it — that kind of thing.
Now that we're up to speed on Master's side of things, the next #RelationshipGoals is going to swing back to my perspective for a look at two BDSM-loving kinksters/future BFFs on a first date. And it is every bit as fairytale, sexy, and spankalicious as you could hope ;)
P.S. If you missed the new trailer for my free Lovecraftian urban fantasy romance, watch it here!